Depending on where you are in the world or the province, we’re officially well into lockdown number three and our second spring in the pandemic.
I’m not sure what it is about this spring — perhaps it’s that in Ontario, we’ve been in some form of stay-at-home and self-isolation order for months on end, or perhaps the one year anniversary is hitting close to home — but I’m noticing a lot more folks reaching out with questions on how to go about finding a therapist these days.
It’s almost as though we’ve collectively woken up from a hibernation, and are looking for the extra supports we may need to help us through this next season and leg of our journey.
So, similar to my quick post on grounding skills, I thought I’d put together a short guide on how to find and choose a therapist that’s right for you.
Of course, this is just one therapist’s opinion and method when looking on her own or supporting a loved one in their search. One of my core beliefs is that you are the expert in your own life, so I encourage you to take what works here and leave the rest.
The very basics
Let’s get the obvious tips out of the way first, shall we?
I think the easiest and most simple way to start your search when looking for a therapist whether this is your first experience or you’re a seasoned pro, is to start with a simple google or Psychology Today search. Of course, searching “therapist + [your area]” will unearth pages and pages of options, which can be a bit overwhelming. Eventually everything is going to start blurring together, assuming you make it past the first page of results to begin with!
Before starting your search, I recommend thinking about what is important to you in a therapist. Are you looking for someone with lots of experience and many years in the field? Is gender an important factor to you? Are you a person of colour or a racialized person? Are you comfortable being in person with your therapist, or would you prefer the safety and flexibility that distance therapy allows?
Make a list of reasons you’re seeking support, as well as identities that are important to you. These can be anything from a formal diagnosis of a mood disorder, your history of trauma or difficult life experiences, your gender or sexuality — really anything that feels important to you and your life. You’re looking for a therapist who fits your needs, not the other way around.
For example, I recently supported a friend looking for their first therapist. When making our list, my friend specified that they were looking for support with depression, trauma, and relationships. They preferred a therapist whose gender matched their own and who was queer affirming.
An example search based off this starting point might look like, “trauma therapist Ottawa,” “depression therapist Ontario,” or “queer / LGBT+ therapy Ottawa.” If you’re working with a website like Psychology Today, you can filter by different areas of specialty, including by gender and modality, to get even more specific.
Wait, what’s a modality?
Every field has its own set of language and terminology, words (and acronyms!) that get thrown around a lot but that don’t necessarily make sense to those outside of the field. Psychotherapy is absolutely full of very niche and confusing sounding words.
So when I say modality, or theoretical orientation, what the heck does that even mean?
Essentially, a modality or theoretical orientation is the framework or worldview that a therapist works from. Every therapist worth their salt works from at least one — but often several — modalities that inform how they work, who they work with, and the types of tools, skills, or supports they offer to the folks they work with.
It’s a way of thinking about and viewing the varied emotions, feelings, and life experiences of human beings, and helps narrow down the best supports to facilitate change. In short, they’re a little bit like a compass that helps a therapist navigate how to best support you.
There are probably just as many modalities and worldviews as there are therapists in the world, so again, a bit overwhelming. But to me modality is super helpful when I’m narrowing down a list of therapists to contact. If I know I am looking for long-term care, for instance, there’s no point in me contacting a solution focused therapist because that’s a short-term modality.
If I know I need structure, I might look for a therapist that practices cognitive behavioural therapy. If I’m a writer or think of life in terms of stories, maybe a narrative therapist could be supportive to me. Or if I’m looking for someone who will meet me where I’m at and guide me based on my needs, a client-focused approach might be best.
You don’t need to know every single modality and all the nitty gritty of what they mean, but having a general sense of who you are and what might work for you can be super helpful in making your search more manageable.
Narrowing down the list
Alright, so you’ve got your search terms and maybe you’ve got a list of modalities you’re interested in (or Wikipedia open for quick reference), now what?
I said it earlier but I will say it again: you’re looking for a therapist who fits your needs, not the other way around.
Whether you’re reading a profile on a directory like Psychology Today or you’re knee deep in a therapist’s website, pay attention to how you feel while you’re reading about them. Sure, their modalities or specialties or training might line up with your needs, but that won’t really matter if you have an uneasy feeling about them.
The biggest predictor of success or change in therapy really comes down to relationship, and to how safe and heard you feel by your therapist.
Check in often with your body, and see what it’s trying to tell you — do you feel expansive or like you’re contracting? Do you feel uneasy, or do you get butterflies? Your cues will be specific to you, but trust that you can tell the difference between something that is for you and something that is not.
And, if you’re still uneasy about the whole process, ask to book a consultation!
Sometimes it truly is hard to get a sense for a person through black and white text on a screen; send them and email and see if they’re open to connecting and telling you more about themselves and their practice. Make a list of about five or so therapists that seem intriguing to you, and then send them an email to connect.
Questions to ask during a consult
A consultation with a therapist can last anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes, on average. It can be a little intimidating to start with, so I recommend making a list of a few vital questions you’d like some answers to, as well as being prepared to answer a few questions yourself.
Your prospective therapist might ask:
▴ What brings you to therapy, or your presenting issue/s
▴ If you’re on any medications or have a history with medications
▴ About a history of self-harm or suicidal ideation, or substance abuse
▴ If you have any previous experience with therapy
▴ What support systems and coping skills do you currently have
I always say to share at the level you’re comfortable with, especially during a consultation where there’s not a lot of time. You don’t need to dig right into a history of childhood abuse on the first go, for example, you can simply say you had a difficult childhood and have a history of trauma.
Not everyone deserves to hear your story, and you can keep it short and sweet for now if that feels better.
You might consider asking your prospective therapist:
▴ If they have experience with your presenting issue/s
▴ How they work, what modalities they use, or what to expect in a typical session
▴ What are their rates, and if they have a sliding scale (especially if you don’t have insurance)
▴ Do they have experience working with people of your race/gender/sexuality/religion/etc, and how they work with differing identities in sessions
And of course, anything else you might want to know to help make your decision!
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As with everything, this little guide comes from my experiences and my perspective, and might not fully suit your needs.
I’m a big fan of recommending that we take what works and leave the rest, and I would love to hear what tips and tricks you find useful for finding a therapist! If you have any questions or anything to add, I’d love to hear from you in the comments or by email!
As always, take good care
Cairn Counselling & Art Therapy 